I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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