i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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