You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
