Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
