i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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