I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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