the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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