Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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