I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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