remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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