Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
