i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
