Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
