What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
