Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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