Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Watching her eat just hurts me
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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