The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
