YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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