I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Vodka?
Forever.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
