this just has baby written all over it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
