I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
