Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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