Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
