it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
