I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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