god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
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