I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
