So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
