Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
