Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
