Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
