I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
