My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
