i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
