youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
