I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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