We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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