I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
