I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
