I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we made out on top of his cat.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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