Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
