he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
