so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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