bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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