it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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