I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
whose parrot is this?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
