holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
