I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
