Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
