If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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