The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
