Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
